Time well spent

Written by Tom Shepard on .

Did you know there is a staggering amount of people who say they cannot live without their cell phone? Maybe you are one of millions of people who habitually “look” at your phone, not because it rang, or vibrated, but just because you couldn’t help yourself.

In one survey 84% of respondents said they couldn’t go a day without their cellphone.

50% percent of Americans sleep next to their cell, just in case it says something in the middle of the night. 20% of the respondents check their phones on average every ten minutes or less. 80% of smartphone users check their phone before brushing their teeth.

On the rise in America is the issue of “time spent with phones” verses “time spent with spouses.” Increasingly I counsel couples who, while in the middle of explaining the lack of attention, invariably, the example of the cell phone comes up.

“He is always looking at his phone.” Or “she spends her time curled up on the couch looking at Facebook all day long, and when I come home she is still with her phone.”

Obviously we have a problem with priorities. The need for an “info fix” is like to a person with the propensity to gossip, the same as crack is to the drug addict. They simply have to have it, and they have to know what is going on in the world.

There is nothing wrong with knowing what is going on in the world, until it starts to hinder the relationship.

The Bible is clear that we are to honor God, and honor the marriage relationship. As a matter of fact a good rule of thumb is the, “I am third” rule. (God first, family second then you). You, meaning your work , hobbies, etc.

If we keep those things in that order, you can attain balance in life.

Giving priority to your spouse, in communication and in spending quality time with them is important. It is important in fulfilling the need for their “need to be wanted.”

Everybody wants to be “wanted.” It is our nature. Simply put, when it is perceived that your spouse wants to spend time with something (in this case a smartphone on Facebook) other than them, we will always create anxiety.

Ephesians 5:22-6:4 give us insight to the marriage. It requires both parties to love each other unconditionally and with no excuses and/or hindrances.

Balance is seeking God first, honoring your family second, and then taking care of all other business third. The e-mail on the phone that has distracted you at the breakfast table… it could have waited.

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