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Gore-y Flatulence

Written by Richard “Sarge” Garwood on .

Jack Frost, a whimsical character but can be a mean little nipper.

His image personifies crisp, cold, winter weather like his grandpa Old Man Winter. This past week, “old Jack” has trampled the Midwest and Northeast with a devilish delight. I hope to NEVER endure it again in my life.

I’m originally from New England. I’ve been aware of “old Jack” for over a half century. He’s the main reason I became a southerner by choice: I hate the cold and especially snow. While I’ve suffered sunburn; I’ve managed to recover without scars. I’ve not suffered the loss of digits such as I’ve known others endure from the aftereffects of frostbite. I’ve also never shoveled the remains of sunshine left behind to a depth of five feet as it drifted across my driveway.

God I love the south!

Every morning, this past week I’ve sat bemused but entertained by the knowledge some of my old and dear friends still “love” winter and all the “joys” of slush, ice and power outages brought about by collapsing power-lines and disrupted electrical service.

Ah yes, the joys of global cooling. Or is it global warming gone wrong. Or is it simply the effects of extensive flatulence emitted into the atmosphere by that schizophrenic charlatan Al Gore? Of course “old Al” has been claiming the latest problem’s attributable to cow flatulence and uncontrolled manmade pollutants lingering in the ozone layer.

I think “old Al” has been lingering in the ozone entirely too long and may have taken to actually inhaling in controversy to his former buddy Bill Clinton. (Of course Bill gave a whole new meaning to being a suck-up and redefined how a cigar can be used for the pleasure of any great statesman. It kinda gives a whole new meaning to enduring a “Cuban Missile Crisis”.) And “good old Al” keeps shifting his theories to justify his making MILLIONS selling bogus energy credits.

Energy credits are tax credits offered by governmental authority as an incentive for the installation and operation of renewable energy systems (Solar, Wind, “Hot, Flatulent Congressional Air” (?)).Economic stimulus packages allow residential and commercial customers to gain lump sum cash rebates or a five-year payback program from local companies. There are new 30% uncapped federal tax credit and state tax credits around 10%.

Gore pays himself for the usage of these credits. Gore purchases these "offsets" from “Generation Investment Management” (GIM). He co-founded the company and is (or was) the chairman of the board of directors. GIM doesn't sell carbon offsets to the public - it supposedly only provides them to its owner, who happily pays himself for them. (Redstate – 2008)

I know this is old info, but Gore never shuts up about it. P.T. Barnum never, in his wildest dreams, could have hatched a scheme to self-aggrandize as successfully as Al Gore has done. The image of Gore, his hatchet-faced visage contorted into that effort to appear sincere and concerned about the dire straits of humanity brought about by capitalist greed and its avaricious drive to control profits at the expense of impoverished and embattled world-citizens, is actually comical under the circumstances.

It’s become an inconvenient truth global climate change has been occurring as we speak. I learned about it at my mother’s knee. There are NO world leaders admitting to it in this manner, either. But they are trying to capitalize on it politically like the good little Marxists they are. And for a change I admit to recognizing the issue of climate change.

It happens continually and is noted as follows: Spring, Summer, Autumn (Fall) and Winter. Sometimes one is longer than the next or shorter than the former. Some are milder than others in history and others are more recognizably harsh.

Now, I’m no meteorologist or climatologist. I hold no degrees or educational accolades concerning this subject. But I do hold a little kernel of simple sense I check to make sure I’m not getting swindled by hucksters with greedy agendas. As long as seasons change and farts stink, I’ll keep looking for Al Gore to make sure it was him opened his mouth and farted; again.

Thanks for listening

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