For a long time now, you have had the advantage. You have leaned on that sweet, southern corruption, as thick as the humid Louisiana air. I wonder if you see her face at night.
I wonder if you look in the eyes of the others and the memory of what you did flows between you like a shared nightmare. What a secret to keep.
You’re not a sociopath, you have feelings. What a cancerous, grotesque memory to have to push away. How do you do it? Does it come back again to haunt you when you try to sleep at night? Do you see her face in other women? Every so often is there some random thing that reminds you, reminds you of what you did to her and the ugly perverted mess you are inside?
In your wake is a dead woman, a family tortured, mouths kept shut and lives destroyed. Your greatest crime was murdering my mother, but it was far from your only one. You stole from me, from my family, you cheated the community’s scales of justice. You are a walking wrong. And for a long time now, you have had the advantage. But I see you.
You know I see you.
Tell me, did she scream? Is that a sound you can still hear? Can you hear the desperation in her shaking voice, can you still see the pain and fear on her bloodied face? Is that emblazoned in your mind’s eye?
You left more than bruises. You covered her with blows, breaking her ribs. You smashed her head over and over with something so hard, the subdural hematoma killed her.
Do you see it? Is it there in your head, her wet blood all over you, the gravity of what you had done sinking in? I know you didn’t plan on killing her.
You lost control, and what you really are, deep down inside, that raw evil came out.
I imagine it horrifies even you.
For 12 years almost to the day, you have had the advantage. Enjoy your days. Spend time with your family. Because one day, just like my mother, you will be warm, safe, and unsuspecting, and you will hear footsteps on your front steps.You will hear a deafening knock on your front door. And away you will go to prison, and I will see to it. I see you.